Full Text: “The Art of Kissing” by Pope Francis’ Ghostwriter Archbishop “Tucho” Fernandez

For the first time, now you can read in a new English translation the complete text of Heal Me With Your Mouth. The Art of Kissing (1995) by Archbishop Víctor Manuel “Tucho” Fernández, rector of the the Pontifical Catholic University of Argentina in Buenos Aires. This book, filled with erotic poetry and images, and written by a priest, now an archbishop, who took a vow of celibacy, provides disconcerting insights into the bizarre mind of one of the world’s most powerful theologians. Fernandez serves as the chief intellectual architect of Francis’ theological novelties and as the alleged ghostwriter for his primary magisterial documents including Evangelii Gaudium, Laudato Sii, and Amoris Laetitia.

Fernandez’ influence over Francis is analogous to that of Josef Ratzinger over St. John Paul II, a key difference being the former’s open dedication to theological modernism. Notably, Francis appointed Fernandez to be a titular archbishop (ie. without a diocese) on May 13, 2013, very shortly after he was elected pope. As Steve Skojec has argued here at OnePeterFive, Fernandez is the “secret decoder ring” for the writings of Pope Francis’ papacy.

As recently as August 2017, Fernandez published a stunning defense of adultery in Amoris Laetitia in Medellín, the theology journal of the Latin-American Bishops’ Conference, in an essay entitled “Chapter VIII of Amoris Laetitia: What is left after the storm”. Arguing in favor of giving communion to those in public, unrepentant bigamy, Fernandez compares adultery for the divorced and civilly remarried to self-defense, as allegedly exceptions to the general rule.

Notably, Vaticanist Edward Pentin revealed that Fernandez is Amoris Laetitia‘s “chief drafter.” Vaticanist Sandro Magister and Professor Michael Pakaluk of the Catholic University of America also demonstrated in detail how Amoris Laetitia directly plagiarizes from Fernandez’s earlier writings that were critical of St. John Paul II’s Veritatis Splendor’s key teachings on intrinsic evils. 

The text of Heal Me With Your Mouth. The Art of Kissing speaks for itself. After reading through it, I certainly hope its salacious contents do not become copy-pasted into any future documents of Francis’ papal magisterium.

Here are some rather shocking excerpts, including some erotic poetry written by Fernandez himself:

Depending on how it is done, it [the kiss] is usually also called “a peck”, “a hickey”, “a penetrating kiss”, etc.


Come down my dear
before you awaken
someone desperate
with a terrible hickey.

How was God
so cruel
as to give you that mouth…
There is no one who resists me,
hide it (Víctor M. Fernández).


That’s why you don’t ask
that it happens to my mouth.
Kill me already
with your next kiss,
bleed me to death,
Give me back my peace
without mercy (Tucho).

But this way of thinking, carried to the extreme, is not characteristic among the followers of Freud, but among the Jansenists, disciples of a certain Jansen. For them, anything that has not been done for the love of God is “sinful concupiscence” that disguises itself, that deceives us. And these Jansenists came to put forward as an example of great perfection the case of St. Louis Gonzaga, who avoided kissing his mother for fear of “disguised concupiscence”.

Because they understand this, many prostitutes lend themselves to all kinds of sex play, but they do not let themselves be kissed by anyone. However, for Freud and the Jansenists, the kiss is something completely secondary, and it hides the most important thing, what comes afterwards. So they kill all poetry; love dies, the personal aspect of the couple’s relationship dies, the magic dies, the respect for others, the tenderness.

Just remember that many couples break up because they have always directly sought the sexual act without dedicating a good amount of time to cultivating the sublime art that sustains love: the kiss.

Because deep down, the one who knows how to kiss like that also knows that what could come after is not more than the kiss, since a kiss can be the most sublime and wonderful expression of love. Moreover, for many, the kiss may be the deepest need of their soul.

In total, the survey covered about a thousand people, but I only write down a few opinions:


• “What I like the most is the kiss of peace at Mass. That was the first kiss with the hottie I have now.”


• “I love covering the whole of the other’s lips with tiny kisses.”
• “I love kissing his fingertips. It gets more affectionate than anything else.”
• “I once went crazy with the pleasure I was given from being kissed on the eyes. But I didn’t say this because it’s going to leave me blind.”


• “Kissing on the ear is very arousing, and it intimidates the men.”


• “It seems to me that when you start kissing with the tongue it is very possible to lose control, and you want to take hold of your hottie, you lose respect. But it’s also on her, if she knows what she wants…”
• “The penetrating kiss is when you suck and slurp with the lips. The penetrating kiss is when you stick in your tongue. Watch out for teeth.”
• “My boyfriend gets a hard mouth when he kisses me. He hasn’t yet learned how to loosen his lips. Lovely!”

On the other hand, the one who kisses well experiences that his life is saved in every kiss, as if in each kiss he were entering into a holy place, of pure life, of redeeming grace. The only one who is fully happy is the one who enjoys himself, but in feeling that the kiss is building something permanent and eternal.

I feel like I need to shower after reading all this. I can’t wash out the dirty.

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