Advent in the domestic church is a mystery lying somewhere under our wet-boot-stained carpet, the cookie crumbs, and the fir needles. Here, the coming of Christ is hiding somewhere between the packages outside our door, the voice of Bing Crosby crooning away in our kitchen, and our family Nativity scene donkey that only has one ear (thanks to the toddler).
In the domestic church, Advent lies somewhere inside the Advent wreath we light, the O Come, O Come Emmanuel we softly sing, the hundred Christmas card envelopes we address, the small voices whining for one more piece of fudge, and the Masses we attend where we trundle into church with bulky coats, red noses and mismatched socks.
We know it–we feel it–we can taste it. The Advent mystery in our domestic church, lying somewhere under the scattered fragments of our family life, our good and our bad, our peace and our chaos, our tissues, lost sippy cups, cookie swaps and felt-and-glue crafts. Every year, we try to grab a larger handful of that hushed mystery. Something always slips through our fingers . . . because we’re finite.
How can we grasp it fully? we wonder. The Advent mystery?
Meanwhile, our culture is doing everything it can to make us forget there’s even such a thing as Advent. What’s the use of silence? What’s the use of all this Catholic pondering? You have no Advent needs. You have no spiritual cravings. Coming? What is coming? Everything you need is already here. No need to look to the heavens. Here are posters of every pop-culture star. Think of the children.
Our culture much prefers to show us endless commercials of a sweet-faced child dancing euphorically in front of a Christmas tree, her arms full of all that’s finite and transient.
Happy Holidays, they cheerily quip. We have the answer.
Tiredly, we turn off the commercial of the happy child dancing in the elaborately decorated home, her arms full of presents, and we look at our own domestic church with the piles of unfolded laundry, piles of dirty dishes, piles of our beloved but arguing children and/or siblings. The phone is ringing. The meat is thawing, incredibly slowly, for supper. The counter is cluttered again. Everything seems . . . undone. Unfinished. The Advent wreath is on the kitchen table, but it hasn’t been lit for several days. Our Advent hymns have been stuffed by anonymous little hands into a random bookshelf. Our home isn’t decorated . . . although Christmas lights have been glittering out of our neighbor’s front windows since before Thanksgiving.
Think of the children. It echoes hollowly in our ears.
As we’re out driving on cold, rainy roads, we see Christian bumper stickers boldly proclaiming, Keep Christ in Christmas. We smile, but it seems a little weak. Because isn’t it about keeping Christmas in Christ? The King of Heaven can never be evicted as much as we can, rather, remove ourselves, our feasts, and our hearts from Him. And we know this; we can feel it. That’s why, in our domestic church, we wait for Christ among our own messes while the world seems to have it all together in a glittering package of holiday happiness. We wait in our own undone-ness. We’re preparing, even though our preparations will always be faulty. There is gold in the dust. It’s part of the Advent mystery.
It’s part of that Advent mystery that quietly ponders the pregnancy of the Immaculate Virgin; the reality of God in the womb. Et homo factus est. The young Woman who would be crowned Queen of Heaven walked on dirt floors, shivered in the cold, and welcomed her Son amid the stench of animals–but her arms were full of the Infinite and Everlasting.
It’s part of that Advent mystery that thinks about the emptiness of the world; the longing, the aching, the darkened skies, the empty manger, the captive race. O come, O come, Emmanuel. The moaning of the earth.
And that’s what’s strange. Because that’s what we want in our domestic church, despite everything the culture flaunts–we want the Advent mystery. We love Christmas, of course. We cherish the spiritual and temporal beauty and nostalgia of it, and we love preparing our hearts and homes for it. We love the crumpled wrapping paper and the cold eggnog. (All right, maybe not the wrapping paper.)
But still . . . in our domestic church, in our hearts, we have this inexplicable desire for the cold cave;the smell of animal manure; the poverty. We want something bare and empty that only Christ can fill. We want something undone–something unfinished–something that’s anticipating something else. Someone else. We crave the faint flickering of the candle, not the blaze of Christmas lights.
We don’t have all the answers. We look to the heavens. We have Advent needs.
If we, as imperfect but intentional Catholic families, can see this, we’re all the closer to having touched more deeply upon the great Advent mystery. If we see a certain emptiness in the glittering TV commercials, and a certain fullness in the Advent messiness and bareness of our home–we’ve found another fleck of gold in our dust.
If we shun the culture and instead embrace the imperfect but striving-for-holiness reality within our own four walls; if we see the unborn Christ in the sticky cheek of our toddler, the broken donkey’s ear, and the AWOL Advent hymns . . . we have discovered something the world can never possess.
The Advent mystery is this: our homes are meant to bring forth the Savior. Our domestic church is meant to bring Him forth in our poverty; in our incompleteness; but also in our openness and purity of heart. Our domestic church is the cave to which the Virgin Mother is drawing near. Will she find a place?
A home absorbed by the world won’t give anything to her. Christmas will come and go, and the Advent mystery will have been lost for yet another year. Maybe the last year. Only God knows.
But a home filled with laundry piles, a donkey with one ear, messy but pure-hearted children, and an open-hearted family hungry for the Advent mystery?
She will come–and come quickly.
The culture will forever try to fill our arms with the finite and the transient. But if we, in our domestic church, persevere in our pursuit of the Advent mystery, the Virgin Mother will come quietly in the night. On Christmas, she will fill our family’s arms with her Infinite and Everlasting Son.
What better way to keep our Christmas in Christ?
Drop down the dew, ye heavens, and let the clouds rain down the Just One; let our homes open and bud forth the Savior.
Originally published at the author’s website.
Lovely.
Nice article Mary, because you emphasize the yearning for the reality of Christmas. The mystery that God becomes man and he shows us that maybe we don’t need so much junk in our lives to be close to him. In fact maybe it’s the things that distract us from our union with God.
Thank you because after reading the article for a second time my thoughts are being provoked.
In France the socialist school system tried to indoctrinate our two little ones with Papa Noel (Father Christmas). Without sounding arrogant I said to the teacher I would love to believe that the presents that we have worked hard for came from someone else, however my wife and I have clearly told our Children that their presents come from our work and that we believe in a non secular Christmas that is about Jesus.
Our Children believe that saint Nicholas exists but we have made it clear that there isn’t someone that enters the house and produces the presents that they desire. We have said that Christmas is the birth of Jesus and the presents are not the reason to celebrate Christmas.
The reason that my wife and I chose this route is number one, both our parents lied to us about father christmas, when we discovered the truth we both felt that our parents were hypocrites because the emphasis as children was always to tell the truth and so this is where we are. Christmas for us will be as a family without excessive amounts of food or presents but it is an opportunity to connect with Jesus Chris and his Holy Family that didn’t have the comfortable life that we have today.
Steve didn’t write it.
Dear Ee Jay, Thank you………….. ammended
Hi Christopher, might I offer this article for you to read: http://www.remnantnewspaper.com/Archives/2011-christmas-mjm-reclaiming.htm
We don’t do Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy nor any other fairies. But it occurred to me after a time however (I’m a convert from atheism) that our Catholic faith is one of belief in ‘things we cannot see’ and if we were to raise our children without ‘mystery’ we would raise skeptics.
(edited out some sentences which on re-reading I feel need a lot more explanation than I can muster up with the tiredness of having a 1 month old)
The Christ Child is not born each year. What is this meditation on the life of Christ, as if it were happening each year again, if not for us to live and learn the truths of the faith. The Christ Child… Does He really come and give the presents at our house, does He come to us at Christmas. No and yes. Though as I get older I wonder at the ‘no’. The yes? Most certainly He does, and that is something we can know as children, and still be of firm belief as adults. Oh, and the presents. If they come from our work then they come from us, but if they come from Christ they are a blessing. Even the gift that has come from the love and work of a parent is sterile, if it is not acknowledged as having come from God. The gifts truly are from the Christ Child.
God bless you and your family! Praying your Christmas will be a blessed one 🙂
Sharyn
Here’s today’s homily from Fr. Michael Bombak:
http://www.royaldoors.net/2016/12/mark-1111-23-reason-season/
He’s a Canadian priest, btw.
Also, thank you for the link. It was magnificent.
You’re welcome Margaret!
Read your link and agree with Father: ‘Let us never forget… to be citizens of the Lord’s kingdom and His emissaries to others.’
How needed it is! I was at the shopping centre trying to find a park yesterday and someone in a car behind me became enraged at me over a parking space. People have become so angry and violent. We don’t need all these extravagant things… we need Christ!
Dear Sharyn,
Thank you for your generous response and congratulations on your latest addition to your family! May God bless you all.
I agree with you in the sense of the skeptic mentality and see exactly what you have said with children here in France, however our children know what a graveyard is and why it is important to offer up our sufferings for the souls in purgatory, however we refuse to lie and deceive them as you do about what life is because we want them to have confidence in the true faith. They may choose to leave the faith as they get older which sadly is the reality of the teenage life here in France. But the benefit of being a reverts or convert is that we have an opportunity to explain what happened in our lives and hope that the roots of the faith keep our kids strong.
Our Priest has repeated numerous times that the birth of Christ at Christmas is not a memory or a historical event, it is something that is real and an actual event. There is a good book that may or may not interest you (No force) about the miracle of Christmas called “Padre Pio’s Christmases” written by a lady called Jeanette Salerno.
Going back to the present or presents that our children will receive at Christmas we have been clear that it’s the work of us and others that produce their presents we hope that they grow up to respect the fruits of their labour and stay true to the faith even though at the moment things seem quite dark the truth will always prevail and as Charles Dickens once wrote in the Tale of Two Cities “It was the best of times and the worst of times” (French Revolution).
in Christ.
Christopher, Valerie, Marianne and Maxime.
‘we refuse to lie and deceive them as you do’
Not sure where you are getting this from? Not even from what I edited out.
Thanks for the book recommendation and for your congratulations! 🙂
Hi Sharyn,
‘We refuse to lie and deceive them as you do’ in the sense that you are bringing up your children the same way as us and you are not interested in telling your kids that there is a tooth fairy, easter bunny, father christmas etc but you want your children as we do to experience the beauty of the faith. I hope that this makes sense it was an agreement with how you are and we are! (we are the same)
Sorry,
In Christ.
Christopher
Maybe this one is better (please consider that i’m not a writer, orating is easier because speaking involves an instant response)
We can agree that we need to keep our children away from the deceptions of the world and that we as parents cannot participate in the man made nonsense of tooth fairies, easter bunnies and father christmas. We as parents desire that our children experience the Roman Catholic faith for her beauty and truth as we have.
Finally, I remember a while back however I may be wrong but it was you that gave us really good advice about the development of a child. In the sense of how children develop mentally and it helped immensely when I read the links that you kindly provided. Also if my memory is working you live in Australia, so I hope that I’m making sense that utmost respect to you and your family!
Ah, I see! 🙂 I had thought there was some misunderstanding.
This forum is not the best of communication. What I wrote should be read as more of a gentle enquiry, I should have written it differently to make this more apparent. I had thought it was either a misunderstanding or I wasn’t reading it the way it was intended.
Glad the links I gave were helpful! 🙂
Wonderful piece.
The Great Big Secret of Life is that the Christian FAMILY, the domestic Church, is the most powerful instrument for good there is. It is the building block of the Church. It is part of the foundation of God’s plan of salvation for the world.
And it is this reason that the Devil and his great allies in the political realm {and yes, some even in the Church!} want so desperately to alter, change, redefine and diminish the Christian family.
A Mother, Father and Children, that entity called family, all transformed by the love and spiritual tenacity that only Jesus can give is also the most threatening thing the world knows, and fears.
*Urgent* Please review the image attached to this article. I was shocked to see the imagery in this nativity scene and I hope it was not your intention to convey this particular image. Underneath Baby Jesus is what appears to be a match sticking out (underneath his leg) and an overarching tripwire as he lays over a bed of kindling scattered on the ground. The goats (satanic symbol) in the foreground are staring at the viewer while the other people/animals in the background are looking down at the manger. It is as if the goats know what is about to happen and no one else does. I strongly implore you to really review this image with a close eye and determine who created this image and what their intentions were. I am shocked, appalled, and disturbed by it and I hope you will come to the conclusion to remove it immediately.
I think your being a bit over dramatic here.
I’d love another explanation
It’s straw…goats are animals and are found with shepherds on a regular basis and the ‘tripwire’ appears to be one of those cheesy halos that are built in to some nativity scene cribs, it’s just backwards and that’s probably not on purpose either.
My one and only intention of bringing this to the attention of OnePeterFive is to ensure that their true purpose of sharing this image is accomplished. The Nativity is one of the most powerful images of Christ’s love for us as he humbled himself to become a child on this earth.
I am not trying to be an alarmist, I am not trying to elicit a debate…
My sole and most heartfelt intention is to ensure that nothing intentionally or unintentionally disrespects one of the holiest scenes of our faith and that perhaps another careful review of the image is in order. All that I am requesting is for a closer look and review of the image by OnePeterFive as it may have been posted without careful consideration.
Attacks by the Evil One are subtle and conniving and are done to mock what we know to be holy. My heart and my gut compelled me to speak up on this and I hope OnePeterFive will value that enough to take another look. That is my only hope and desire.
If I am wrong I sincerely apologize for my misinterpretation but I will rest easy knowing that I brought something that was weighing heavy on my heart to the attention of those that published it.
It is very odd. I’ve spent a lot of time over the years looking for religious pictures online. You get to realising you need to look at pictures carefully. There are some very disturbed people about! I think you were right to bring it to attention.
Google Hebridean sheep. Whoever the sculptor was of the Nativity image above, he must have had particular sheep in mind. Still, in a time when many of us are feeling threatened in the Church by others who should know better, I can understand people’s sensitivies to particularly shaped horns. My stick and paste of hebridean sheep failed! You may need to google hebridean sheep – who look a bit threatening and resemble goats!
Hebridean sheep are Scottish. Most nativity sets are made in places like Italy, Spain, Germany. While they may have modelled their sheep on some similar looking local sheep I think it would probably be unlikely. Google nativity sets and what you will see are your regular sheep. People don’t want to see ‘devilish’ looking sheep in their nativity sets.
Will just add a few more observations here too rather than scatter them over the different comments.
Father suggested a halo bent out of shape. This I think unlikely too. Most often the infant Jesus is without a halo, or the halo is a disc shape stuck on the back of his head. When you do see wire halo’s the entire set (Jesus, Mary, Joseph) usually have them and the halo’s are sized for the statues. The infant Jesus will have a little halo which is unlikely to be able to be bent such.
As an amateur photographer who spends a lot of time taking photo’s I would be surprised too at a photographer taking a photo for a stock image and not noticing that a) there is a bit of wood(?) poking out from the infant’s cradle b) the wire halo is bent out of shape and goes across the front of the cradle c) that I have placed ‘devilish’ looking sheep in front of the infant at a central place in the image.
Also I wonder what that club like looking thing is to the right of St. Joseph? It’s a strange looking thing.
You are a super observant person! I think your points are interesting. I would never have noticed them.
It’s a stock photo of a nativity scene, not a Rorschach test. As Fr. Ripperger says, some people see the devil under every rock, when he’s really only under every other rock.
There’s nothing about this image that appears satanic to me.
Bless you for these sweet and beautiful thoughts to ponder and wonder upon as we pray and give glory to our mighty King.
The Holy Family shows us, speaks to us. May our being, our families, desire and order our lives in such faith, purity, and obedience to our Father’s will, we pray in all earnest.
‘The Advent wreath is on the kitchen table, but it hasn’t been lit for several days.’
Lol. We got off to a ‘good start’ with advent, even with a new baby coming the day before advent.
Our advent wreath has indeed spent many days unlit. My three year old doesn’t understand why our nativity scene has an empty crib and keeps putting the statue of St. Joseph in it! That’s when he’s not pulling all our Jesse Tree ornaments off our tree (put back yesterday all in the one spot on our Christmas tree). I’m not sure that anyone has been doing the ‘good deeds’ for their Christkindl. I did manage to play our advent music list, at least a few times. And we’d best get to glueing back on the baby Jesus’ arm (for our nativity scene) before Christmas day…
We spent yesterday getting things back ‘on track’ 😉
Enjoyed reading your article!
Nicely written, thank you!