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Ex-Lesbian: Divine Grace is Real

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Above: the London Oratory.

Today is the first of June, the month that Church dedicates to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Since so many people outside the Catholic world haven’t any knowledge of the liturgical year, much less how one can live according to it, they will be inundated with “pride” memorabilia all month long. For this reason, I have decided to make known my disdain.  

By now, very few may not know that I have long left the homosexual lifestyle (eight years). I take no credit, seeing how long I lived it, knowing that each time I engaged in homosexual acts, I greatly offended God, yet continued in the mire for as long as I did. Nothing other than the Grace of God liberated me from my disordered passions. (I always knew that every relationship I was in would fail if I kept loving this Invisible God. Perhaps it was the hypocrisy of claiming to love God while living a life I knew He forbade. Yet, regardless of the hurt I’d experienced, I knew I couldn’t forsake Him; I would not!) There are many examples I can give and instances that prove that if one doesn’t entirely reject God, hope remains. The first step was finally submitting to His will and renouncing my own. The last eight years have been a quest to grow deeper in my Faith and to come to know, love, and serve this God I knew loved and watched over me all my life. In so doing, He has led me to more profound knowledge and understanding of Himself and myself. Without knowledge of God, it is impossible to know oneself. 

The prince of this world, Satan, and his minions have convinced people that it is no longer a sin to engage in homosexual acts. Well, pay them no heed, for like their master, they lie! Sadly, many in the Church speak this falsehood as well. God gave us many an example of how hard it is to enter Heaven: “How narrow is the gate, and strait is the way, that leadeth unto life: and few there are that find it!” (Matt 7:14) “Then Jesus said to his disciples: If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me” (Matt 16:24).

We see clearly today how compromising with Satan is dangerous and impossible. It’s no longer about “what two adults do in the privacy of their bedroom.” It’s now about advocating and celebrating homosexuality, indoctrinating children to believe they are in the wrong body to encourage them to mutilate themselves, and many times, at the behest of their parents! It’s about grown men dressing as women and being allowed to enter women’s fitting rooms and restrooms, endangering many women and children. It’s about men dominating women by being allowed to enter an all-women’s sport, etc. It’s now a full-blown attack on Christianity and those who refuse to offend God.

Although I had never attended any “pride events,” I participated in sin. I want to apologize again to those of you whom I scandalized by my actions when I claimed to love God while living a lifestyle contrary to His will. I am sorry. I can tell you unequivocally that living in a habitual state of sin, one does not love God but rather mocks Him.

I will close this by sharing what a life of grace looks like, at least from a lay single woman who has dedicated her life to loving God through Mary.

Because part of my cross is SSA [Same-Sex Attraction] (even though I no longer feel those attractions), I am called to live a life of chastity. To accomplish this, since it is humanly impossible without supernatural strength, I attend Mass daily and receive my Eucharistic Jesus (when I am properly disposed). “And Jesus beholding, said to them: With men this is impossible: but with God all things are possible”(Matt 19:26). I have greater custody of my eyes and no longer allow them to view anything that can be an occasion of sin. My last relationship has morphed into a chaste friendship. I attend the Traditional Latin Mass, and because of the Mass of the Ages, I have grown exponentially in my Catholic Faith. I am determined to focus on my growth in the “science of the Saints,” who have become my best friends and family. I surround myself with like-minded people whose primary focus is to gain Heaven. We do our utmost to keep each other accountable and frequently speak of our defects to try to eradicate them, having a blast while doing so. We often gather, enjoying conviviality while imbibing the best wines and having great conversations. “I never discuss anything else except politics and religion. There is nothing else to discuss.” — G.K. Chesterton.

Every year for the month of June, I want to encourage my fellow Catholics to go to Adoration at least once a week to make reparation to Our Lord’s Sacred Heart for sins against the sixth commandment. Find the “Hour of Reparation” booklet by St. Alphonsus Liguori, if possible. And buy a Sacred Heart flag to hoist outside your home this month! It’s time we Catholics start living our Faith in the world!

“If Catholics would rise up and be truly Catholic, the world would change overnight.” – Mother Angelica.

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